Hellbound: Hellraiser II (1988) – Brian McNail
Hellraiser II opens with scenes from the climax of Hellraiser. Following the opening credits the camera pans across a guy sitting on the floor of a bunker playing with a golden puzzle box. The box shocks the guy and opens up on the floor playing a music box melody. Chains and hooks grab the guy and pull him into the box revealing his transformation into Pinhead.
A flash of lightening later and our heroine from Hellraiser Kirsty wakes up inside a psychiatric hospital. She is interviewed by a homicide detective while patrolmen search her father’s home. Inside the house a patrolman discovers a few of Julia’s dead bodies as well as a mattress soaked in blood. Kirsty upon finding out about the mattress tells the doctor and his assistant it must be destroyed before Julia comes back to life like Frank did. Later that night Kirsty walks through the psyche ward finding a girl named Tiffany who spends all her time playing with puzzles.
Kristy’s doctor makes his rounds through the main ward and enters the elevator stopping on the floor marked “Maintenance” which seems to be his own personal playground of nut jobs that he seems to get a sick enjoyment out of. His assistant Kyle goes to visit Kirsty and she tells him she saw her father the previous night and he goes to get Dr. Channard. Kirsty tells Dr. Channard the story of Julia and Frank (via clips from the first movie) and about Frank solving the puzzle box which is actually a gateway to hell. She then goes on to retell the entire plot of Hellraiser 1 with clips from the first movie which makes you wonder why they started with the flashbacks if they were going to tell everything again, but I guess it wouldn’t be Hellraiser without Kirsty interrupting flashbacks even her own.
After his session with Kirsty, Dr. Channard paces his home and leaves. Kyle breaks in (why?) and see’s Channard has at least 3 cubes as well as the mattress Julia died on. A first person walkthrough of the maintenance area is done while Kyle is reading Channard’s notes and newspaper clippings there is also a photo of Pinhead (prior to his transformation). He then hears someone coming and hides in the corner to see Channard bringing in one of the patients in a straightjacket. He removes the jacket and gives the patient (who is seeing maggots crawling all over him) a straight razor. All of the blood from this one patient is enough to revive Julia almost completely (sans skin) in just one feeding.
The doc wraps Julia in ace bandages turning her into a cheap looking mummy. Kyle goes to rescue Kirsty saying it is all true and telling her what happened in Dr. Channard’s home office including the revelation that he has multiple boxes. Channard brings Julia to the house from the first movie where he has strung up patients from the psych ward and she goes on a killing rampage killing at least 15 people off screen. Dr. Channard then cuts away the bandages to show that Julia is back in her old skin.
Kirsty and Kyle arrive at and search the house and split up. Kyle meets Julia in the attic getting killed and finishes bringing Julia back to 100% (the 16 people before were not enough apparently). Kirsty hears the body hit the floor and rushes upstairs to confront Julia who tells her she is no longer the evil stepmother but instead the evil queen before knocking her out. Following this Dr. Channard brings in Tiffany with the box and watches along with Julia as she solves the puzzle. Upon completing the puzzle all hell breaks loose and the Cenobites make their first appearance with Pinhead stating that desire has called the group and everyone looks at Channard.
Kirsty wakes up in the attic and retrieves the puzzle box and proceeds to run through the corridors of hell calling for her father. Meeting up with the Cenobites who all harass her and then morph the cube she is holding into a diamond shaped prism. Kirsty escapes and meets up with Tiffany.
Channard and Julia explore the area when they see Leviathan the God of the Labyrinth. Julia explains that she was sent back to bring Leviathan souls and pushes Channard into a cube turning him into the Channard Cenobite (awesome scene involving embalming and 5 strands of piano wire). Kirsty enters a crypt with tables of wiggling bodies covered in white sheets and is confronted by Frank (in his own skin this time) who chases her with his trusty switchblade and explains that Kirsty is in his private hell now and an incestual tryst is hinted at (and everyone thinks this only happens in the south). Kirsty betrays Frank and burns the skin off him.
Julia then arrives dragging Tiffany with her who releases her so she can literally rip Frank’s heart out with her bare hands allowing Tiffany and Kirsty to escape only to be trapped by a sucking void. We see the Channard Cenobite exit his cube and Julia picking up the puzzle box that Kirsty had dropped earlier. Julia confronts Kirsty who engage in a tug of war over Tiffany. There is only one problem playing tug a war while wearing a skin suit it rips off so easily. Julia is sucked into the void (without her skin) and Tiffany and Kirsty run away making their way back into the hospital mutually embracing each other in Tiffany’s first real show of emotion. The two exit the room to see Channard has given all of the patients cubes to play with, while witnessing this Channard appears and attacks the duo.
The girls escape Channard and run into the room with Pinhead and all of his friends. Kirsty gives Pinhead his photo and reminds him that he was once human and tries to implore the cenobites to remember where they came from which they do. This moment of thoughtfulness is interrupted by Channard who beckons Tiffany to him. The other Cenobites have other plans and attack Channard. Channard easily defends himself killing The Woman, Chatterer and Butterball and restoring Pinhead to his human form before slitting his throat.
Tiffany and Kirsty escape back into the hospital with Tiffany saying she has to go back and finish the puzzle and returning to the entrance to hell. Tiffany goes to the Julia suit and picks up what the cube and running to the area that Julia and Channard saw Leviathan earlier. Tiffany then proceeds to work the diamond puzzle but is interrupted by Channard. Who backs her into the arms of Julia (back in her skin). Julia and Channard make out while Tiffany picks up the diamond and starts to turn it back into the cube. Channard has his head ripped off by Leviathan which causes Tiffany to stumble off the walkway and hang by her fingers until Julia offers to help her. Tiffany is rescued and Julia pulls her skin off revealing Kirsty was wearing the suit the entire time. Leviathan to collapse the gateway to hell and Tiffany and Kirsty make a mad dash out escaping.
Tiffany and Kirsty leave the mental institution and walk off into the sunset. In the final scene of the movie one of the movers that is emptying Dr. Channard’s house finds the mattress and is sucked into it with the cenobite’s wooden totem rising from it complete with the faces of all four cenobite’s and the person who sells the cube in the first movie.
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This is without a doubt my favorite flick of the entire series. The acting is great, the storyline flows smoothly with giving everyone time to develop their characters. Also unlike the first movie it is faster paced. This movie like Hellraiser are both 93 minutes long but this movie tackles the issues I had with the first one perfectly. As I mentioned in my previous review (http://www.thenerdemporium.com/articles.php?article_id=524) for Hellraiser everything was pretty much explained to death and every plot point had to be focused on including three identical kills that took what felt like 20 minutes of time to accomplish. This movie does have its own time wasters such as having Julia being wrapped up in ace bandages to have her in the very next scene her regain her skin was a bit redundant but with different scenes being shuffled around and cut out completely it is possible that made sense at the time of filming.
The lack of kills is my only true complaint in this movie. Most of the kills shown happen so quickly or are not shown at all. Other than the first kill Julia commits (killing maggot boy) all of the other kills are either shown off camera or cut off before the victim is really dead with the body being shown later. The movie does redeem itself by focusing more time on the Cenobites in this movie in comparison to the first movie.
Tony Randel who directed this movie did an incredible job. The movie has a visual feast of computer graphics that were barely available in 1989 much less to horror movies. This is even more incredible knowing that the production company New World Pictures started having financial issues and cut the budget in nearly half. Thankfully most of the cast and crew came back for the sequel so it is not weird seeing different people playing the same roles. Christopher Young who did the soundtrack does an incredible job of placing a low sound score throughout the movie which doesn’t over power any of the scenes which allows the scene to be the thing remembered and not the song itself.
I give Hellbound: Hellraiser II: 4.5 out of 5 stars.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
Friday, March 2, 2012
The Entire NerdEmporium Fiasco
I no longer work for TheNerdEmporium.com not sure how old the guy running the site is but the following is the instant message exchange that went on between Kevin Perez and myself and the messages on facebook, the guy also went on a long tweet rampage and IP banned me from his website. Its what ever but I thought you my friends and for anyone searching for information on Kevin and his website should see this.
Brian McNail
If you don't mind me asking how many unique visitors does your site get daily?
Kevin Perez
Daily hits are hard to keep track of via my C-panel these days but monthly numbers are between 27 Mil (off season) & 75 mill (season). This month we broke 150 mil for offseason which means some of my promotional agreements are meeting their end.
Which sadly paycheck wise only equals to about $550 weekly for me in ad-revenue with a portion of that going back into the site.
Brian McNail
150 million people look at your site a month?
Kevin Perez
Yes did I stutter?
Brian McNail
No, I'm just shocked by the number. The counter for facebook/twitter shares don't reflect that high a number is all. I'd figure there would be more shares with such a high amount of traffic.
Kevin Perez
People don't share or like, common issue on more then just that site. Most visitors come to the site read the reviews/news ignore the share/like or add on button.
Same problem I've always had with the forums people come for the news updates/reviews read but don't interact. Ironically they only ReTweet on my account the news or worse yet click like on FB instead of the article.
Generally speaking I find the like & tweet button pointless. I just put them there just because every other site has one. G4TV has one and can't get any to use it either. Ironically if it's not happening on FB itself no one cares to click like.
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I had gone a few days being very ill and swamped with work and hadn't given Kevin any new material to post on his site following this conversation on 2/27. When I logged on to Facebook this morning I saw the following post by Kevin on his Facebook wall:
"It looks like the new staffer on TheNerdEmporium.com Brian already got burned out. No reviews this week at all from him. Not too surprised, people can't really keep up with the site or the amount of work I do in any given week. People always think it's so easy to do what I do...it's really not. Takes a lot of dedication & work. I didn't want to even write that last review tonight but I forced myself to. And I have carpal tunnel in both my wrist at this point from years of gaming & typing."
So I posted the following retort on my facebook wall:
I'll have something typed up over the weekend, but please remember I am an unpaid staff member that has a wife, kids, a job where I work 10 - 13 hours a day 5 days a week with a hectic travel schedule now being thrown in and have been fighting bronchitis that makes it so its uncomfortable to sit for more than 20 minutes without my chest feeling like its caving in. I have priorities and writing about a movie series thats been dead over 15 years isn't high on my list at the moment sorry if I've caused you any troubles but seeing how I gave you at 8 movie reviews and a news article for your site since I started 2 and a half weeks ago I think I've more than kept up a good quota of posts. Posts that you recieve compensation off of when people read my writings, just food for thought.
Sorry to put this out in the public but since you wanted to call me a burn out on your facebook wall figured turn about is fair paly. If you don't want me writing when I'm healthy and can focus on a movie and what I am typing then we can just part ways now and be done with it or you can allow me to get healthy and focus on what is actually important first.
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A pretty innocent request in my book that hey I'm not getting paid and I've got a real life that pays the bills I can't be sitting around watching movies while I'm sick and working 13 hour work days. And yes there were responses from my friends on the matter telling me to quit blah blah blah but I never once said anything negative other than according to the Terms of Services (which I agreed to) anything I submitted that was hosted by Kevin and the TheNerdEmporium.com was their property and I was cool with that. I recieved the following from Kevin via message who then deleted me from facebook:
Are you fucking serious? Well let me do you a favor. I wouldn't want you to think "I'm mooching off your five reviews". I'll remove them from the site for you.
Another thing you seem to have a people problem. it's clearly obvious with the way you talk to people & address them. Case in point your rant a few days ago about Facebook. You may want to work on that in the future. Because the way you express yourself to others is the reflection of how they perceive you which is probably the reason why everyone was ignoring you.
Also logging on to twitter Mr. Excitement (no not Johnny Ace) tweeted the following (I combined all the tweets):
This dude just pulled a 7 year old act on FB. Because I noted he hadn't written anything on the site in like a week. At first he seemed cool with it & said he was sick. Then hours (try 5 minutes) later he post a FB Tag with me in it bashing me along with his friends It's like seriously who does that? Did you see this today on FB? @Wrestlezombie's apart rant about me where he proceeded to bash me along with his friends. All because I pointed out I hadn't seen a review from him in a week or so...yeah plus it's someone IDK, IRL. I find it funny how people run their mouth online because they're hidden behind the safety of a computer which they think gives them the right to slander people "anonymously" or "publicly" Ok time to pull down these five reviews, I didn't write. Better for me, I'll stop getting emailed as to why a crappy movie was well rated. Ok well those five reviews, I didn't write are now off the site. I wouldn't want to "profit off of them". #sarcasm #AreYouSeriousBro
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My retort is the same I gave to Mr. Perez on facebook in response to all of this. Though I find ironic he is always going off on old staff members to his website so apparently I'm not the only person to have issues with him:
Apparently you don't like being called out on facebook anymore than I did. You now know how it felt to be Pearl Harbored when you log on to face book. I gave you 7 movie reviews and a Smackdown review in the span of 9 days and then got sick. Instead of shooting me a message or an email asking if everything is okay you call me a burn out on facebook and toot your own horn about how you typed up this review with Carpal Tunnel in your wrists. If its been a week since I hadn't written a review for your site why was it still listed on the front page of your site you've had a couple of news articles on the main page, but as far as content articles you had a raw, smackdown, podcast and Maniac Cop 3 review and Hellraiser Bloodline.
Af far as the mooching thing I was trying to point out to you that I am an unpaid writer for your site and I have a real job and real family responsibilities that must come first. When you grow up a little bit and have an adult life outside of writing for your "Millions" of site visitors you'll understand these things a bit more. Also for the record I had a couple of friends that do internet advertisements ping your site and you have less than 2500 unique visitors a month but what ever. I knew you were full of shit with 125 million visitors when I looked and saw that both your twitter account and TNE twitter account each have only 300 people following you. Get over yourself and quit blowing smoke.
Also nice going with the IP ban and the shit talking on Twitter for the record I'd tell you the same thing to your face but geographically speaking thats not possible. I wasn't bashing you on my FB wall I was pointing out how it felt to see someone post about you without getting the whole information how would you have felt if I posted crap about your site to find out you were sick or something. If I was pissing and moaning that the stuff I submitted didn't get posted for a week and complained and went on a twitter/facebook rant only to find out you had some real shit go on in your life.
Brian McNail
If you don't mind me asking how many unique visitors does your site get daily?
Kevin Perez
Daily hits are hard to keep track of via my C-panel these days but monthly numbers are between 27 Mil (off season) & 75 mill (season). This month we broke 150 mil for offseason which means some of my promotional agreements are meeting their end.
Which sadly paycheck wise only equals to about $550 weekly for me in ad-revenue with a portion of that going back into the site.
Brian McNail
150 million people look at your site a month?
Kevin Perez
Yes did I stutter?
Brian McNail
No, I'm just shocked by the number. The counter for facebook/twitter shares don't reflect that high a number is all. I'd figure there would be more shares with such a high amount of traffic.
Kevin Perez
People don't share or like, common issue on more then just that site. Most visitors come to the site read the reviews/news ignore the share/like or add on button.
Same problem I've always had with the forums people come for the news updates/reviews read but don't interact. Ironically they only ReTweet on my account the news or worse yet click like on FB instead of the article.
Generally speaking I find the like & tweet button pointless. I just put them there just because every other site has one. G4TV has one and can't get any to use it either. Ironically if it's not happening on FB itself no one cares to click like.
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I had gone a few days being very ill and swamped with work and hadn't given Kevin any new material to post on his site following this conversation on 2/27. When I logged on to Facebook this morning I saw the following post by Kevin on his Facebook wall:
"It looks like the new staffer on TheNerdEmporium.com Brian already got burned out. No reviews this week at all from him. Not too surprised, people can't really keep up with the site or the amount of work I do in any given week. People always think it's so easy to do what I do...it's really not. Takes a lot of dedication & work. I didn't want to even write that last review tonight but I forced myself to. And I have carpal tunnel in both my wrist at this point from years of gaming & typing."
So I posted the following retort on my facebook wall:
I'll have something typed up over the weekend, but please remember I am an unpaid staff member that has a wife, kids, a job where I work 10 - 13 hours a day 5 days a week with a hectic travel schedule now being thrown in and have been fighting bronchitis that makes it so its uncomfortable to sit for more than 20 minutes without my chest feeling like its caving in. I have priorities and writing about a movie series thats been dead over 15 years isn't high on my list at the moment sorry if I've caused you any troubles but seeing how I gave you at 8 movie reviews and a news article for your site since I started 2 and a half weeks ago I think I've more than kept up a good quota of posts. Posts that you recieve compensation off of when people read my writings, just food for thought.
Sorry to put this out in the public but since you wanted to call me a burn out on your facebook wall figured turn about is fair paly. If you don't want me writing when I'm healthy and can focus on a movie and what I am typing then we can just part ways now and be done with it or you can allow me to get healthy and focus on what is actually important first.
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A pretty innocent request in my book that hey I'm not getting paid and I've got a real life that pays the bills I can't be sitting around watching movies while I'm sick and working 13 hour work days. And yes there were responses from my friends on the matter telling me to quit blah blah blah but I never once said anything negative other than according to the Terms of Services (which I agreed to) anything I submitted that was hosted by Kevin and the TheNerdEmporium.com was their property and I was cool with that. I recieved the following from Kevin via message who then deleted me from facebook:
Are you fucking serious? Well let me do you a favor. I wouldn't want you to think "I'm mooching off your five reviews". I'll remove them from the site for you.
Another thing you seem to have a people problem. it's clearly obvious with the way you talk to people & address them. Case in point your rant a few days ago about Facebook. You may want to work on that in the future. Because the way you express yourself to others is the reflection of how they perceive you which is probably the reason why everyone was ignoring you.
Also logging on to twitter Mr. Excitement (no not Johnny Ace) tweeted the following (I combined all the tweets):
This dude just pulled a 7 year old act on FB. Because I noted he hadn't written anything on the site in like a week. At first he seemed cool with it & said he was sick. Then hours (try 5 minutes) later he post a FB Tag with me in it bashing me along with his friends It's like seriously who does that? Did you see this today on FB? @Wrestlezombie's apart rant about me where he proceeded to bash me along with his friends. All because I pointed out I hadn't seen a review from him in a week or so...yeah plus it's someone IDK, IRL. I find it funny how people run their mouth online because they're hidden behind the safety of a computer which they think gives them the right to slander people "anonymously" or "publicly" Ok time to pull down these five reviews, I didn't write. Better for me, I'll stop getting emailed as to why a crappy movie was well rated. Ok well those five reviews, I didn't write are now off the site. I wouldn't want to "profit off of them". #sarcasm #AreYouSeriousBro
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My retort is the same I gave to Mr. Perez on facebook in response to all of this. Though I find ironic he is always going off on old staff members to his website so apparently I'm not the only person to have issues with him:
Apparently you don't like being called out on facebook anymore than I did. You now know how it felt to be Pearl Harbored when you log on to face book. I gave you 7 movie reviews and a Smackdown review in the span of 9 days and then got sick. Instead of shooting me a message or an email asking if everything is okay you call me a burn out on facebook and toot your own horn about how you typed up this review with Carpal Tunnel in your wrists. If its been a week since I hadn't written a review for your site why was it still listed on the front page of your site you've had a couple of news articles on the main page, but as far as content articles you had a raw, smackdown, podcast and Maniac Cop 3 review and Hellraiser Bloodline.
Af far as the mooching thing I was trying to point out to you that I am an unpaid writer for your site and I have a real job and real family responsibilities that must come first. When you grow up a little bit and have an adult life outside of writing for your "Millions" of site visitors you'll understand these things a bit more. Also for the record I had a couple of friends that do internet advertisements ping your site and you have less than 2500 unique visitors a month but what ever. I knew you were full of shit with 125 million visitors when I looked and saw that both your twitter account and TNE twitter account each have only 300 people following you. Get over yourself and quit blowing smoke.
Also nice going with the IP ban and the shit talking on Twitter for the record I'd tell you the same thing to your face but geographically speaking thats not possible. I wasn't bashing you on my FB wall I was pointing out how it felt to see someone post about you without getting the whole information how would you have felt if I posted crap about your site to find out you were sick or something. If I was pissing and moaning that the stuff I submitted didn't get posted for a week and complained and went on a twitter/facebook rant only to find out you had some real shit go on in your life.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Hellraiser
Hellraiser (1987) – Brian McNail
Ladies and Gentlemen, Cenobites of all ages this is Hellraiser.
Our movie opens in a Middle Eastern cantina where a transaction for a golden cube takes place. One cut scene later and we see the purchaser opening the box surrounded by candles. After a few moments of fiddling with the box strange blue lights flicker from the box causing chains and hooks to appear out of no where that pierce the guy's flesh. Following this the Cenobites Pin Head and The Female are seen cleaning up the remains of our first victim and restoring the cube to its original state.
We learn that our victim’s name was Frank and that his brother Larry is moving into the family home along with his wife Julia. Larry’s daughter Kirsty calls and the two discuss where Kirsty is going to live. Larry and Julia start the move in process while, Kirsty walks along the harbor area eventually walking to the house (good thing she knew where it was). Julia is upstairs ripping the head off a woman in one of Frank’s photos she found and has a flashback to the first time she met Frank just before her wedding to Larry. Her fantasy is interrupted by Kirsty and she goes walking upstairs to the room Frank was killed in. We are then back in flashback mode where we see Frank and Julia once had an affair on her white wedding dress.
While trying to move furniture upstairs, Larry has his hand ripped open by a nail and goes to find Julia in Frank’s room. All of the blood that is hitting the floor is being absorbed through the cracks. Later Julia hears a noise coming from the room while going to bed and opens the door and finds Frank. Frank explains that Larry’s blood brought him back to life and that he needs Julia’s help. He needs more blood to completely heal. After Julia lies in bed for a while remembering having sex with Frank she goes to the attic and tells Frank she will help him.
The next day Julia goes out to a local singles bar and picks up a stranger and brings him home. The guy is dispatched with a claw hammer to the head and Frank tells Julia to leave the room as she doesn’t need to see what happens next. She enters Frank’s room again and he tells her his nerves are working again and that she must help him with one or two more people before the Cenobites find out he has escaped. Upon the death of the next victim we see that Frank now has lungs and can smoke a cigarette and shows her a golden puzzle box.
He explains to Julia that the Cenobites showed him both pain and pleasure and we see all four of them for the first time together as they tortured Frank. Later on Larry is watching boxing with Julia when they hear a noise up stairs. Larry goes to check on it but Julia tries to stop him from going to Frank’s room by offering sex but he insists on checking it out anyways finding Frank’s room to be empty. Upon the couple going into their bedroom we see Frank walking around watching Larry have his way with Julia from the closet. When Julia sees Frank coming at Larry with a knife she starts to object causing Frank to look on disapprovingly and causing Larry to wonder why his wife is all over him one minute and then doesn’t want to have sex with him the next.
Julia brings another guy into the den of evil and nails him three or four times with the hammer. Kirsty who saw Julia and the guy enter the house, hears the guys screaming and comes running into the house as Frank goes about his business. Kirsty and Frank have a brief fight scene with Frank using one-liners that would make Bruce Campbell proud ending with Kirsty grabbing and throwing the box outside. She flees the house picking up the box eventually passing out on the side of the road.
Kirsty awakens in the hospital wondering how she got there. The doctor tells her that she was holding on to the box and places it on her bedside table and locks her in the hospital room (you can do that to patients?). Being alone locked in a room with a puzzle box, she of course plays with it and figures it out causing it to open. Surprisingly the box doesn’t kill her instantly like it did Frank it only opens the wall, which is covering a long corridor. Kirsty starts walking down the hallway where she is chased by a Cenobite. She runs back down the corridor to her room and starts to put the box back together again when her room begins to morph and everything starts exploding. She then is backed against the wall by the Cenobite Chatterer who holds her while Pinhead explains that she summoned them by opening the box. She tells them to go to hell, but the foursome cannot go alone. She offers Frank in her place; the Cenobites deny this as no one has ever escaped before. Pinhead says if Frank confesses then maybe MAYBE they will not tear her soul apart.
Julia and Frank are having a discussion in the hallway when Larry comes home. She says she has something show him. Meanwhile Kirsty’s boyfriend arrives at the hospital to find her missing. Frank is then seen in Larry’s skin and has sex with Julia. We find out when Kirsty arrives at the house that Frank not only has Larry’s skin but his voice as well. Larry/Frank explains to Kirsty that Julia explained everything and that he killed Frank, Kirsty tells her dad/uncle that she has to see the body. Kirsty sees the steaming bones of her father and is locked in the room with the four Cenobites. Kirsty escapes the room and discovers that Frank is inside her father’s body/skin and tears a large gash out him. Frank kills Julia by mistake but uses her blood to heal and follows Kirsty up the stairs.
Kirsty hides in the room where Julia has been hiding the corpses and sneaks out of the room only to stop and cry at the top of the stairs. Frank exits his room and chases her back into his room. Telling Kirsty that everything is okay she is with her dear ole Uncle Frank now. This confession by his own lips was just what the Cenobites were waiting to hear as they bring out their toy box and tell Kirsty to leave as this is not for her eyes. Frank starts to stab her when one of the chain hooks grabs hold of him followed by twelve more as he gives his final piece of dialog “Jesus Wept” before being pulled apart (would have looked awesome in 3D).
Kirsty goes to leave the house but is stopped by The Female. Kirsty grabs the cube and starts to put it back together as each part sends a Cenobite back to hell in the crappiest of neon light explosions in cinema history and manages to get it mostly back together without any major harm befalling her or her boyfriend who shows up out of nowhere.
Upon making it out of the house it starts to burn to the ground and she throws the cube into a fire pit where the bum from earlier simply steps inside the flames, picks it up and turns into what looks like a gargoyle and apparently delivers it back the cantina in the middle east where it is for sale again bringing us back full circle (and setting up a sequel).
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For the most part Hellraiser is a great film, it is never really slow as a lot of horror movies in the 80s had a tendency to do before starting the final lead/build up to the ending. The score of this movie is awesome and the gore is just what it needed to be. It isn’t over done and in a movie based of torture it could have been overdone very easily. Although I will admit that the repetitive skull bashing with a hammer to three victims was a bit redundant, it could have been changed up for each victim. Not to over analyze but I don’t think Julia’s heart was in it to kill the guys.
The only other problem I had with the film is the run time of 93 minutes is too short for all the detail that Barker wanted to get across. Perhaps in the director’s cut it is spaced out a little bit better I've yet to see that version so I cannot say one way or another. Although I think a little more could have or needed to end up on the cutting room floor. This movie is based off a novel that Clive Barker wrote and then adapted for the movie and I guess he just wanted to make sure it was all in there even the stuff that didn't translate to the final cut of the film very well.
I give Hellraiser a 4 out of 5.
Ladies and Gentlemen, Cenobites of all ages this is Hellraiser.
Our movie opens in a Middle Eastern cantina where a transaction for a golden cube takes place. One cut scene later and we see the purchaser opening the box surrounded by candles. After a few moments of fiddling with the box strange blue lights flicker from the box causing chains and hooks to appear out of no where that pierce the guy's flesh. Following this the Cenobites Pin Head and The Female are seen cleaning up the remains of our first victim and restoring the cube to its original state.
We learn that our victim’s name was Frank and that his brother Larry is moving into the family home along with his wife Julia. Larry’s daughter Kirsty calls and the two discuss where Kirsty is going to live. Larry and Julia start the move in process while, Kirsty walks along the harbor area eventually walking to the house (good thing she knew where it was). Julia is upstairs ripping the head off a woman in one of Frank’s photos she found and has a flashback to the first time she met Frank just before her wedding to Larry. Her fantasy is interrupted by Kirsty and she goes walking upstairs to the room Frank was killed in. We are then back in flashback mode where we see Frank and Julia once had an affair on her white wedding dress.
While trying to move furniture upstairs, Larry has his hand ripped open by a nail and goes to find Julia in Frank’s room. All of the blood that is hitting the floor is being absorbed through the cracks. Later Julia hears a noise coming from the room while going to bed and opens the door and finds Frank. Frank explains that Larry’s blood brought him back to life and that he needs Julia’s help. He needs more blood to completely heal. After Julia lies in bed for a while remembering having sex with Frank she goes to the attic and tells Frank she will help him.
The next day Julia goes out to a local singles bar and picks up a stranger and brings him home. The guy is dispatched with a claw hammer to the head and Frank tells Julia to leave the room as she doesn’t need to see what happens next. She enters Frank’s room again and he tells her his nerves are working again and that she must help him with one or two more people before the Cenobites find out he has escaped. Upon the death of the next victim we see that Frank now has lungs and can smoke a cigarette and shows her a golden puzzle box.
He explains to Julia that the Cenobites showed him both pain and pleasure and we see all four of them for the first time together as they tortured Frank. Later on Larry is watching boxing with Julia when they hear a noise up stairs. Larry goes to check on it but Julia tries to stop him from going to Frank’s room by offering sex but he insists on checking it out anyways finding Frank’s room to be empty. Upon the couple going into their bedroom we see Frank walking around watching Larry have his way with Julia from the closet. When Julia sees Frank coming at Larry with a knife she starts to object causing Frank to look on disapprovingly and causing Larry to wonder why his wife is all over him one minute and then doesn’t want to have sex with him the next.
Julia brings another guy into the den of evil and nails him three or four times with the hammer. Kirsty who saw Julia and the guy enter the house, hears the guys screaming and comes running into the house as Frank goes about his business. Kirsty and Frank have a brief fight scene with Frank using one-liners that would make Bruce Campbell proud ending with Kirsty grabbing and throwing the box outside. She flees the house picking up the box eventually passing out on the side of the road.
Kirsty awakens in the hospital wondering how she got there. The doctor tells her that she was holding on to the box and places it on her bedside table and locks her in the hospital room (you can do that to patients?). Being alone locked in a room with a puzzle box, she of course plays with it and figures it out causing it to open. Surprisingly the box doesn’t kill her instantly like it did Frank it only opens the wall, which is covering a long corridor. Kirsty starts walking down the hallway where she is chased by a Cenobite. She runs back down the corridor to her room and starts to put the box back together again when her room begins to morph and everything starts exploding. She then is backed against the wall by the Cenobite Chatterer who holds her while Pinhead explains that she summoned them by opening the box. She tells them to go to hell, but the foursome cannot go alone. She offers Frank in her place; the Cenobites deny this as no one has ever escaped before. Pinhead says if Frank confesses then maybe MAYBE they will not tear her soul apart.
Julia and Frank are having a discussion in the hallway when Larry comes home. She says she has something show him. Meanwhile Kirsty’s boyfriend arrives at the hospital to find her missing. Frank is then seen in Larry’s skin and has sex with Julia. We find out when Kirsty arrives at the house that Frank not only has Larry’s skin but his voice as well. Larry/Frank explains to Kirsty that Julia explained everything and that he killed Frank, Kirsty tells her dad/uncle that she has to see the body. Kirsty sees the steaming bones of her father and is locked in the room with the four Cenobites. Kirsty escapes the room and discovers that Frank is inside her father’s body/skin and tears a large gash out him. Frank kills Julia by mistake but uses her blood to heal and follows Kirsty up the stairs.
Kirsty hides in the room where Julia has been hiding the corpses and sneaks out of the room only to stop and cry at the top of the stairs. Frank exits his room and chases her back into his room. Telling Kirsty that everything is okay she is with her dear ole Uncle Frank now. This confession by his own lips was just what the Cenobites were waiting to hear as they bring out their toy box and tell Kirsty to leave as this is not for her eyes. Frank starts to stab her when one of the chain hooks grabs hold of him followed by twelve more as he gives his final piece of dialog “Jesus Wept” before being pulled apart (would have looked awesome in 3D).
Kirsty goes to leave the house but is stopped by The Female. Kirsty grabs the cube and starts to put it back together as each part sends a Cenobite back to hell in the crappiest of neon light explosions in cinema history and manages to get it mostly back together without any major harm befalling her or her boyfriend who shows up out of nowhere.
Upon making it out of the house it starts to burn to the ground and she throws the cube into a fire pit where the bum from earlier simply steps inside the flames, picks it up and turns into what looks like a gargoyle and apparently delivers it back the cantina in the middle east where it is for sale again bringing us back full circle (and setting up a sequel).
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For the most part Hellraiser is a great film, it is never really slow as a lot of horror movies in the 80s had a tendency to do before starting the final lead/build up to the ending. The score of this movie is awesome and the gore is just what it needed to be. It isn’t over done and in a movie based of torture it could have been overdone very easily. Although I will admit that the repetitive skull bashing with a hammer to three victims was a bit redundant, it could have been changed up for each victim. Not to over analyze but I don’t think Julia’s heart was in it to kill the guys.
The only other problem I had with the film is the run time of 93 minutes is too short for all the detail that Barker wanted to get across. Perhaps in the director’s cut it is spaced out a little bit better I've yet to see that version so I cannot say one way or another. Although I think a little more could have or needed to end up on the cutting room floor. This movie is based off a novel that Clive Barker wrote and then adapted for the movie and I guess he just wanted to make sure it was all in there even the stuff that didn't translate to the final cut of the film very well.
I give Hellraiser a 4 out of 5.
Thursday, February 16, 2012
Tucker and Dale vs. Evil
I am always really hesitant to take movie suggestions from people I do not really know. I’m always scared when someone tells me “this is the greatest movie I’ve ever seen” and I get geared up for a great flick only to find out the person’s second favorite movie is Ishtar. I am also not the biggest fan of mixing genres of movies. I prefer my horror to be either gory or scary and my comedy to be raunchy or clever. So it was great hesitance that I watched Tucker and Dale vs. Evil, but I’m glad I did because this movie rocked.
As someone who lives in the south and loves Pabst Blue Ribbon I’m often viewed as a redneck, however if I lived just little bit more north I would be considered a hillbilly and if horror movies have taught us nothing it’s that Rednecks and Hillbillies want to kill you after making you squeal like a pig. It is this stereotype that is the premise of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: two good ole boys that a group of college kids fear are trying to kill them and end up killing themselves trying to escape.
Our duo of half-wits rescue Allison who upon seeing the guys fishing in the pond while skinny dipping falls onto some rocks and hit her head. When she awakes Dale is trying to bring her some breakfast, but she assumes he means to hurt her. Once she sees that he isn’t going to hurt her, the two start to warm up to one another. The rest of the college friends mistake Tucker and Dale having her in their “summer home” as a form of kidnapping and formulate a plot to rescue their friend.
I should point out that Tucker and Dale are oblivious to the fact that the college kids are scared of them because once the kids come near the cabin a series of misfortunate events will always occur which causes one of the kids to kill themselves. One such example occurs when Tucker is using a chainsaw and cuts through a hornets’ nest inside a log which then makes him run with the chainsaw. The college kids do not see the hornets only Tucker and his chainsaw and run away causing one of the kids to accidently impale himself, later another kid runs at Tucker while he is feeding logs into a wood chipper and trips and falls into the chipper.
Tucker and Dale are convinced that the college kids are part of a suicide pact and want to help Allison. Allison tries to sit down Chad the group leader and Dale. We learn that Chad's mother was attacked by Hillbillies while pregnant with him. Some of the other kids who were separated from the group form a plan to rush the house during the meeting to save Chad and Allison because of all of the dead bodies all over the place.In the end Allison chooses Tucker (who is hurt by an earlier failed capture by Chad and the kids) and Dale over Chad. All of this leads to a final show down between Dale and Chad, not going to ruin the ending for you but it is well worth the watch. All this scene needed was Bruce Campbell and it would have made this a 5 out of 5 movie for me.
Seems to me the directors of this movie have watched just about every stalker/slasher style horror movie ever made and really paid a lot of attention to Evil Dead 2. A lot of the camera shots are similar and when Dale makes his “Hillbilly Nightmare” suit it is pretty much the same scene of Ash making his hand in Army of Darkness. This movie while not exactly “horror” or “independent” is right up my alley. I’ve never been a huge fan of the comedy-horror movies such as Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland but this works mostly because it tries to stay a comedy the whole time with adding some sick gore to it.
The only real problem with the movie was music. The soundtrack to this movie also was very lacking, there just was no real stand out music. If you're going to do a movie with gory deaths or partying kids you've got to at least have some type of music playing. Not saying you have to have a huge soundtrack that causes your movie budget to double or triple but you can at least put something in there.
As someone who lives in the south and loves Pabst Blue Ribbon I’m often viewed as a redneck, however if I lived just little bit more north I would be considered a hillbilly and if horror movies have taught us nothing it’s that Rednecks and Hillbillies want to kill you after making you squeal like a pig. It is this stereotype that is the premise of Tucker and Dale vs. Evil: two good ole boys that a group of college kids fear are trying to kill them and end up killing themselves trying to escape.
Our duo of half-wits rescue Allison who upon seeing the guys fishing in the pond while skinny dipping falls onto some rocks and hit her head. When she awakes Dale is trying to bring her some breakfast, but she assumes he means to hurt her. Once she sees that he isn’t going to hurt her, the two start to warm up to one another. The rest of the college friends mistake Tucker and Dale having her in their “summer home” as a form of kidnapping and formulate a plot to rescue their friend.
I should point out that Tucker and Dale are oblivious to the fact that the college kids are scared of them because once the kids come near the cabin a series of misfortunate events will always occur which causes one of the kids to kill themselves. One such example occurs when Tucker is using a chainsaw and cuts through a hornets’ nest inside a log which then makes him run with the chainsaw. The college kids do not see the hornets only Tucker and his chainsaw and run away causing one of the kids to accidently impale himself, later another kid runs at Tucker while he is feeding logs into a wood chipper and trips and falls into the chipper.
Tucker and Dale are convinced that the college kids are part of a suicide pact and want to help Allison. Allison tries to sit down Chad the group leader and Dale. We learn that Chad's mother was attacked by Hillbillies while pregnant with him. Some of the other kids who were separated from the group form a plan to rush the house during the meeting to save Chad and Allison because of all of the dead bodies all over the place.In the end Allison chooses Tucker (who is hurt by an earlier failed capture by Chad and the kids) and Dale over Chad. All of this leads to a final show down between Dale and Chad, not going to ruin the ending for you but it is well worth the watch. All this scene needed was Bruce Campbell and it would have made this a 5 out of 5 movie for me.
Seems to me the directors of this movie have watched just about every stalker/slasher style horror movie ever made and really paid a lot of attention to Evil Dead 2. A lot of the camera shots are similar and when Dale makes his “Hillbilly Nightmare” suit it is pretty much the same scene of Ash making his hand in Army of Darkness. This movie while not exactly “horror” or “independent” is right up my alley. I’ve never been a huge fan of the comedy-horror movies such as Shaun of the Dead and Zombieland but this works mostly because it tries to stay a comedy the whole time with adding some sick gore to it.
The only real problem with the movie was music. The soundtrack to this movie also was very lacking, there just was no real stand out music. If you're going to do a movie with gory deaths or partying kids you've got to at least have some type of music playing. Not saying you have to have a huge soundtrack that causes your movie budget to double or triple but you can at least put something in there.
11/11/11
After watching Twilight I always know I'm doomed to see a bad movie when the main characters drive a Volvo.
I should point out that this isn’t 11-11-11 which came out on the same day. Yes there are two movies with the same title, with different punctuation marks released on the same day and yes they both suck.The main plot of 11/11/11 focuses on a family that just moved into a new house where everyone in town seems to be very interested in the son who is due to turn eleven years old on 11/11/11.
This movie literally has every cliché possible when it comes to neighbors and main characters. It has the creepy cat lady, a group of people determined to stop anyone from warning the family, the psychotic nanny named Annie who helps the son, burn butterflies, a doped up mother who has visions and father who is only protective when it doesn’t really require him to do anything. It’s a weird flick that you are not really sure whose side anyone is on. The only thing that is for sure for the majority of the flick is the next door neighbor is trying to kill the boy before his eleventh birthday and there is a large group of people who are set against anyone that tries to get in the way.
The son Nat is getting creepier and creepier throughout the movie starting with burning a butterfly (with the aid of his nanny) then every night at 11:11 watching his parents sleep in bed. He doesn’t say a whole lot in the movie just kind of lets everything happen around him. During one scene in the movie he and his father Jack are eating cereal at 11:30 pm and the father leaves for a moment coming back to find Nat sitting on the floor unconscious covered in blood. After washing Nat up he doesn’t see any cuts or source of the blood so he just kind of puts Nat to bed in his own room. If I ever found my kid unconscious and covered in any blood whether his or something else’s I would seek professional help. Not just wash him up and put him to bed.
Later after guarding Nat all night with a baseball bat against the evil alarm clock, Jack goes off to work leaving him with his nanny who keeps reading him a book about deaths dealing with the number 11. We also see that Nat’s mom Melissa is trying not to be drugged by her nurse but is slapped hard (in probably the best acting in the movie) and then given her shot. Along his way to work he passes the parked van with several of the minor characters Jack and the family have encountered talking about Nat and wondering if the nanny has what it takes.
Upon getting home from work he finds Nat again standing at his wife’s bed, upon telling him to leave the room Nat just stabs his mom and walks out.That night Jack goes to check on Nat and finds his son is covered in either bruises or scratches (was hard to see in the lighting) and calls 911 (9+1+1=11) for the second time that day. Annie is taken by police from the home for questioning and is asked by the cop where she came from as he knows everyone in town and has no idea who she is. The cop is then attacked by wasps inside the car which wrecks. Annie simply walks out of the wreck and the car explodes. Even though they appear to have been driving for a while, the family still hears the explosion and when Melissa tries to check on her son is again attacked by the nurse.
While this is going on the crazy lady next door chokes out Nat in his bedroom while the group in the van performs a bloodletting ritual to Satan.While the ritual is going on Melissa escapes her nurse, cat lady drags Nat to her house and Jack is nowhere to be seen, until he just kind of shows up sees his son’s room is empty and then runs to the shed that separates his house from the crazy cat lady. The cat lady is performing an exorcism on Nat saying the town is the gate way to hell and his son is the key. That every thousand years Satan escapes hell and we must kill him. She starts spouting all the weird biblical prophecies regarding 11 and is then killed by Jack. I would probably kill her too for kidnapping my son and all but I would have listened to her a little if he just stabbed my wife.
Jack rushes Nat back into the house and goes to check on Melissa who isn’t there; he goes to the nurse accidently knocking her out of the window killing her. He then finds Melissa in the bathtub full of water with Nat watching her holding a hairdryer which he then drops in. Jack is then incapacitated by the Nanny and when he comes to finds his living room has been overrun by Satanists awaiting 11:11 to hit which is only 3 minutes away. Jack takes out the entire room with a can of wasp spray (yeah…bare with me it is almost over) and takes him back to the wood shed.
Nat then pulls a Linda Blair and starts floating in mid-air. Doing the only thing a father can do when his son is about to become Satan he stabs his son in the heart killing him. In a room full of Satanists that disappear the moment Nat dies. He carries his body back to his wife’s body and is arrested by what looks like the same cop who died in the earlier explosion which makes you wonder if either Jack had gone insane or he was the only guy who could fit in the police uniform.We are also teased that a child inside Melissa is moving around, please don’t tease any sequels I can’t take it.
There are a few good death scenes in the movie which include impalement on a white picket fence, a hit and run that puts Final Destination to shame and a random act of violence involving both a shovel and baseball bat. Those are about the only good redeeming qualities of this movie. I realize I’m only a movie critic and have no idea what goes into the actual writing of a movie, casting, directing, producing and everything else but I don’t think the people that made this know either. No big name stars but a big budget flick doesn’t make any sense. I wonder if someone sold their soul to Satan to get this made. Quick let’s kill the DVD before anyone else gets hurt.
I should point out that this isn’t 11-11-11 which came out on the same day. Yes there are two movies with the same title, with different punctuation marks released on the same day and yes they both suck.The main plot of 11/11/11 focuses on a family that just moved into a new house where everyone in town seems to be very interested in the son who is due to turn eleven years old on 11/11/11.
This movie literally has every cliché possible when it comes to neighbors and main characters. It has the creepy cat lady, a group of people determined to stop anyone from warning the family, the psychotic nanny named Annie who helps the son, burn butterflies, a doped up mother who has visions and father who is only protective when it doesn’t really require him to do anything. It’s a weird flick that you are not really sure whose side anyone is on. The only thing that is for sure for the majority of the flick is the next door neighbor is trying to kill the boy before his eleventh birthday and there is a large group of people who are set against anyone that tries to get in the way.
The son Nat is getting creepier and creepier throughout the movie starting with burning a butterfly (with the aid of his nanny) then every night at 11:11 watching his parents sleep in bed. He doesn’t say a whole lot in the movie just kind of lets everything happen around him. During one scene in the movie he and his father Jack are eating cereal at 11:30 pm and the father leaves for a moment coming back to find Nat sitting on the floor unconscious covered in blood. After washing Nat up he doesn’t see any cuts or source of the blood so he just kind of puts Nat to bed in his own room. If I ever found my kid unconscious and covered in any blood whether his or something else’s I would seek professional help. Not just wash him up and put him to bed.
Later after guarding Nat all night with a baseball bat against the evil alarm clock, Jack goes off to work leaving him with his nanny who keeps reading him a book about deaths dealing with the number 11. We also see that Nat’s mom Melissa is trying not to be drugged by her nurse but is slapped hard (in probably the best acting in the movie) and then given her shot. Along his way to work he passes the parked van with several of the minor characters Jack and the family have encountered talking about Nat and wondering if the nanny has what it takes.
Upon getting home from work he finds Nat again standing at his wife’s bed, upon telling him to leave the room Nat just stabs his mom and walks out.That night Jack goes to check on Nat and finds his son is covered in either bruises or scratches (was hard to see in the lighting) and calls 911 (9+1+1=11) for the second time that day. Annie is taken by police from the home for questioning and is asked by the cop where she came from as he knows everyone in town and has no idea who she is. The cop is then attacked by wasps inside the car which wrecks. Annie simply walks out of the wreck and the car explodes. Even though they appear to have been driving for a while, the family still hears the explosion and when Melissa tries to check on her son is again attacked by the nurse.
While this is going on the crazy lady next door chokes out Nat in his bedroom while the group in the van performs a bloodletting ritual to Satan.While the ritual is going on Melissa escapes her nurse, cat lady drags Nat to her house and Jack is nowhere to be seen, until he just kind of shows up sees his son’s room is empty and then runs to the shed that separates his house from the crazy cat lady. The cat lady is performing an exorcism on Nat saying the town is the gate way to hell and his son is the key. That every thousand years Satan escapes hell and we must kill him. She starts spouting all the weird biblical prophecies regarding 11 and is then killed by Jack. I would probably kill her too for kidnapping my son and all but I would have listened to her a little if he just stabbed my wife.
Jack rushes Nat back into the house and goes to check on Melissa who isn’t there; he goes to the nurse accidently knocking her out of the window killing her. He then finds Melissa in the bathtub full of water with Nat watching her holding a hairdryer which he then drops in. Jack is then incapacitated by the Nanny and when he comes to finds his living room has been overrun by Satanists awaiting 11:11 to hit which is only 3 minutes away. Jack takes out the entire room with a can of wasp spray (yeah…bare with me it is almost over) and takes him back to the wood shed.
Nat then pulls a Linda Blair and starts floating in mid-air. Doing the only thing a father can do when his son is about to become Satan he stabs his son in the heart killing him. In a room full of Satanists that disappear the moment Nat dies. He carries his body back to his wife’s body and is arrested by what looks like the same cop who died in the earlier explosion which makes you wonder if either Jack had gone insane or he was the only guy who could fit in the police uniform.We are also teased that a child inside Melissa is moving around, please don’t tease any sequels I can’t take it.
There are a few good death scenes in the movie which include impalement on a white picket fence, a hit and run that puts Final Destination to shame and a random act of violence involving both a shovel and baseball bat. Those are about the only good redeeming qualities of this movie. I realize I’m only a movie critic and have no idea what goes into the actual writing of a movie, casting, directing, producing and everything else but I don’t think the people that made this know either. No big name stars but a big budget flick doesn’t make any sense. I wonder if someone sold their soul to Satan to get this made. Quick let’s kill the DVD before anyone else gets hurt.
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Psycho98
Psycho (1998) – Brian McNail
Can someone please explain to me why Vince Vaughn has not been in more horror
movies? Vince Vaughn missed his true calling in Hollywood by going the comedy route; he is a natural psycho which I guess is how he probably got the title role for the 1998 remake of the
Hitchcock’s classic Psycho. Unfortunately for Vaughn outside of an incredible performance by William H. Macy there really isn’t any other comparison to the original flick.
Anne Heche has a forgettable role of Marion Crane an executive assistant who
embezzles a large sum of cash to help her loser boyfriend Sam (Viggo Mortenson)
get out of some trouble. What exactly that trouble was I have no Earthly idea because unless it is mentioned in the 4 minute scene in which we not only see Sam’s ass for no reason but a noticeable “tramp stamp” on Sam as well. Anyways we see Marion steal the money and then get into her car and start driving from Phoenix. Eventually the long drive has
caught up with her and she needs some sleep and in a movie with one of the most
famous hotels in horror she of course sleeps in the car.
The next morning she awoken by a cop who checks her license and then follows her for the next 10 minutes including her trading in her car for another one. Then the cop is never heard from
again, the only reason she bought the car was to evade the cop but even though he sees her in the new car he never follows her again. Maybe he was in love with the old car? It is never explained and if the filmmakers don’t care, why should I?
Thirty-Three minutes into the flick we finally get to the Bates Motel and meet Norman Bates. While Vaughn is no where even close to the original version of Bates he does an incredible job, so much so I actually keep watching the movie and don’t start drinking heavy booze. Whereas Anthony Perkins played the character as a straight laced mama’s boy, Vaughn reminds me
of a Saturday Night Live spoof of Forrest Gump with a little sprinkle of Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.
About 48 minutes into this movie is the first kill which is a shot by shot recreation of the original shower scene from the original Psycho, except where Janet Leigh and just about every spoof of it since has done a wonderful job of showing fear and the pain the character was feeling Anne Heche just kind of stands there and screams and then awkwardly falls over showing her ass to the camera. I literally felt nothing about the death of Crane other than perhaps a little bit of happiness that I wouldn’t have to endure anymore screen time of Heche.
The next characters entering the movie are William H. Macy as Milton Arbogast a private investigator hired by the client Crane embezzled from, and her sister Lila Crane played by Julianne Moore. Not much to say other than Arbogast puts all the puzzle pieces on the table and
makes a phone call before going back to the Bates Motel to interview Norman’s mother in which he gets an ax to the forehead.
His disappearance leads to Sam and Lila traveling to the Bates Motel to do some undercover work, we also learn from the local chief of police that Norman’s mother has been dead for a long time in the only case of Murder/Suicide the county has ever known.
Much like the Scooby Gang, Sam and Lila split up with Sam keeping Norman busy while Lila goes into the house to find Norman’s mother. Sam eats a golf club to the back of the head and rushes to check on his mother. Lila finds the corpse of Ms. Bates and is attacked by Norman in drag finally getting knocked out by Sam who recovers from a crushing skull blow with
a 9 iron just in the nick of time. Norman is locked in a mental ward at the county jail and Marion’s car is dragged out of the swamp with the characters wondering what happened to all the
money.
Okay now that the plot is out of the way, this movie does a great job of retelling the story of Psycho almost to the point that you wonder why they bothered with remaking the movie. Almost
everyone that knows anything about horror knows Norman Bates dressed up as his mother and killed people. Hell that’s where the switch in the original Friday the 13th came into play with
the mother acting like the son. This movie just kept plugging right away with the notion that Norman really does have a controlling mother that is killing everyone, even going as far as to
have the characters hear his mother berate him.
Norman is creepy and I’m not 100% sure but I think they implied when he is watching Heche prepare for her shower masturbating but I could be wrong it is just a weird kind of gesture Vaughn makes when he backs up from the peephole. I can’t really suggest anyone watch this flick, I just can’t. It is almost word for word, shot for shot like the original and if you’re going to watch it you might as well watch the original one. Unlike all of the other remakes that get made that change stuff for good or worse at least it’s a different interpretation. There
isn’t any of that. At least Psycho II in the 80s continued the story on which is what really this should have done. Or perhaps it could have gone the Friday the 13th remake route and acknowledged the original and then made its own movie of it. I’d have liked to see
what happened to more of the guests from the Bates Motel or at least found out
what the cop’s deal was.
The Remake of Psycho gets Nailed with a 2 out of 5.
Can someone please explain to me why Vince Vaughn has not been in more horror
movies? Vince Vaughn missed his true calling in Hollywood by going the comedy route; he is a natural psycho which I guess is how he probably got the title role for the 1998 remake of the
Hitchcock’s classic Psycho. Unfortunately for Vaughn outside of an incredible performance by William H. Macy there really isn’t any other comparison to the original flick.
Anne Heche has a forgettable role of Marion Crane an executive assistant who
embezzles a large sum of cash to help her loser boyfriend Sam (Viggo Mortenson)
get out of some trouble. What exactly that trouble was I have no Earthly idea because unless it is mentioned in the 4 minute scene in which we not only see Sam’s ass for no reason but a noticeable “tramp stamp” on Sam as well. Anyways we see Marion steal the money and then get into her car and start driving from Phoenix. Eventually the long drive has
caught up with her and she needs some sleep and in a movie with one of the most
famous hotels in horror she of course sleeps in the car.
The next morning she awoken by a cop who checks her license and then follows her for the next 10 minutes including her trading in her car for another one. Then the cop is never heard from
again, the only reason she bought the car was to evade the cop but even though he sees her in the new car he never follows her again. Maybe he was in love with the old car? It is never explained and if the filmmakers don’t care, why should I?
Thirty-Three minutes into the flick we finally get to the Bates Motel and meet Norman Bates. While Vaughn is no where even close to the original version of Bates he does an incredible job, so much so I actually keep watching the movie and don’t start drinking heavy booze. Whereas Anthony Perkins played the character as a straight laced mama’s boy, Vaughn reminds me
of a Saturday Night Live spoof of Forrest Gump with a little sprinkle of Billy Bob Thornton in Slingblade.
About 48 minutes into this movie is the first kill which is a shot by shot recreation of the original shower scene from the original Psycho, except where Janet Leigh and just about every spoof of it since has done a wonderful job of showing fear and the pain the character was feeling Anne Heche just kind of stands there and screams and then awkwardly falls over showing her ass to the camera. I literally felt nothing about the death of Crane other than perhaps a little bit of happiness that I wouldn’t have to endure anymore screen time of Heche.
The next characters entering the movie are William H. Macy as Milton Arbogast a private investigator hired by the client Crane embezzled from, and her sister Lila Crane played by Julianne Moore. Not much to say other than Arbogast puts all the puzzle pieces on the table and
makes a phone call before going back to the Bates Motel to interview Norman’s mother in which he gets an ax to the forehead.
His disappearance leads to Sam and Lila traveling to the Bates Motel to do some undercover work, we also learn from the local chief of police that Norman’s mother has been dead for a long time in the only case of Murder/Suicide the county has ever known.
Much like the Scooby Gang, Sam and Lila split up with Sam keeping Norman busy while Lila goes into the house to find Norman’s mother. Sam eats a golf club to the back of the head and rushes to check on his mother. Lila finds the corpse of Ms. Bates and is attacked by Norman in drag finally getting knocked out by Sam who recovers from a crushing skull blow with
a 9 iron just in the nick of time. Norman is locked in a mental ward at the county jail and Marion’s car is dragged out of the swamp with the characters wondering what happened to all the
money.
Okay now that the plot is out of the way, this movie does a great job of retelling the story of Psycho almost to the point that you wonder why they bothered with remaking the movie. Almost
everyone that knows anything about horror knows Norman Bates dressed up as his mother and killed people. Hell that’s where the switch in the original Friday the 13th came into play with
the mother acting like the son. This movie just kept plugging right away with the notion that Norman really does have a controlling mother that is killing everyone, even going as far as to
have the characters hear his mother berate him.
Norman is creepy and I’m not 100% sure but I think they implied when he is watching Heche prepare for her shower masturbating but I could be wrong it is just a weird kind of gesture Vaughn makes when he backs up from the peephole. I can’t really suggest anyone watch this flick, I just can’t. It is almost word for word, shot for shot like the original and if you’re going to watch it you might as well watch the original one. Unlike all of the other remakes that get made that change stuff for good or worse at least it’s a different interpretation. There
isn’t any of that. At least Psycho II in the 80s continued the story on which is what really this should have done. Or perhaps it could have gone the Friday the 13th remake route and acknowledged the original and then made its own movie of it. I’d have liked to see
what happened to more of the guests from the Bates Motel or at least found out
what the cop’s deal was.
The Remake of Psycho gets Nailed with a 2 out of 5.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Live Psycho (remake) Blog aka Nailing Vince Vaughn (no homo)
Going to try something new (for me) going to live blog my reactions to the remake of the 1998 remake of Hitchcock's Psycho. Below is my take of the flick.
If you've never read one of my horror reveiws before at BrutalasHell.com or the deceased and deleted Southern Fried Horror (here on blogspot) I might as well warn you I get a little vocal about a lot of things.I am also in the minority of "all remakes suck" as sometimes (rarely) the remake is better than the original. The Thing & My Bloody Valentine are great examples (fuck you its my blog).
Below are the tweets as they come to me from my twitter account @WrestleZombie. Also as I'm hitting play I'm opening the first of probably many Pabst Blue Ribbons and if need be I have Captain Morgan on standby.
Indeed I am ready for anything this movie can dish out.
Hiting play on #Psycho now. May the #PBR be with me.
-10 cool points from #Psycho all movies should have the #Horsebird logo, even if they are not Tristar Movies.
Digging the opening credits for #Psycho. Movies need good opening music and credits.
12/11/98 I was in high school and couldn't see this movie I wasn't 17 yet and our theater was strict. #Psycho Factoid
Why is there a naked guy (complete with ass shot) and no naked Anne Hesch (yet?)? #Psycho
Had to go back and look but Viggo Mortensen has a trampstamp in #Pscyho.
Anne Hesch is asleep at the wheel. Never a good sign. She should check into a motel or something #Psycho foreshadowing
think they need to make a movie about the Highway Patrol Officer from #Psycho.
33 Minutes in and we finally get to the Bates Motel. #Psycho
34 minutes in and I'm on my second @PabstBlueRibbon #Psycho is as #Pyscho does.
Vince Vaughn as Norman Bates in #Psycho reminds me of Forrest Gump. Except he stabs Jenny in this.
"I like to stuff things' #Pyscho Um....okay
Its hard to believe that Vince Vaghn hasn't done more roles like Norman Bates. He almost has it better than the Original. #Pyscho
We all go a little mad sometimes...#psycho
@VinceVaughn1 Even after 14 years your role in #Pyscho is still awesome.
@ the Shower scene in #Pyscho (98) and it is completely ruined by Anne Hesch even her ass shot looks forced.
Okay so Hesche is dead at the 57 minute mark and there is 40 minutes to go. Thank God for William H Macy #Psycho
There is always a vacancy at the Bates Motel. #Psycho
If it ain't Gel it ain't Jello #Psycho
William H Macy has bit the dust. #Psycho
Third can of #PBR is gone, #Psycho is horrible.
Even though you know that Norman Bates is the Killer at least the remake keeps it hidden. #Psycho
Is this thing over yet? #Psycho
Thank you for explaining #Psycho to us.....a big Duh Moment.
Best part of #Psycho 1998? Other than @VinceVaughn1 is the credits.
Wow. Lets see confirmed body count 4 deaths (2 on screen, 2 mentioned). 4 Dead Pabst Blue Ribbons and 1 hour and 41 minutes of wanting to rethink my idea of doing this. Cant say this was any good. Vince Vaughn was excellant as Norman Bates not as good as the original but Anthony Perkins nailed it to begin with not much you can go beyond.
This was just a BORING movie and I don't see a lot of redeeming qualities. Nothing was changed from the original flick but the original flick had two things on its side. The time it was made this was legit horror as nobody was making movies like this and the fact that everyone knows Bates is the killer and his mom is a corpse. Its kind of like watching Friday the 13th and not knowing its Jason's mom doing the killing. Unless you've never seen a horror movie or you've lived under a rock there is just no getting around the movie is spoiled from the get go.
Also I really didn't need to see Viggo's Tramp Stamp.
You've Just Got Nailed and I'm Going To Get Hammered.
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